The inspiration for this came from several sources, my parents taught us to forgive and say I'm  sorry, but we never realty understood much about redemption accept as a word in the Bible, and dictionary.
      Over the 10 year history of the original study that started this whole thing; this has been one of the under-running themes.
      More recently different pastors have brought this up, one on Marble Collegiate Church, presented this as a 4 step process. 
      I had never thought of the fact that these processes actually need to work together in order for them to work properly. 

     Redemption - the act or turning from your sinful ways - confession - feeling sorry* for what you did,  making things right.  { Working things out, no matter what}     

    Confession - going to the one that you wronged, and admitting that you goofed, and are sorry* for what you did,            
                                     * feeling some guilt, remorse,

     Forgiveness - the act of giving up your privilege of getting even or punishing the wrong doer, letting go of that grudge.    

     Grace - the act of working things out, without the full punishment deserving of this crime    

     Understanding - an act of finding out where the perpetrator is coming from and what caused H-- to do what H-- did, and through the act of redemption, grace, and forgiveness, develop a love that only those that have been there, can possibly understand.      

     Stepping out on a limb - taking a chance - risking everything

     Nowhere does it say that a wrong doing goes without consequences, but at the same time the punishment should not be greater than the crime. Some crimes are so bad that the only punishment is suffering and death. but through grace and repentance, the punishment may be in the form of service, rather than shoveling coal into the hot furnace     

     A good example would be the case where a young man killed another man's daughter, was tried and sentenced to 25 years; the young man was good and behaved himself in prison, so when it was time for parole after 15 years, the young man was surprised to find the girls father there to oversee his parole; when the young man asked, why?? The father said the time for guilt and punishment is over, now its time for forgiveness and healing.        

     First lets look at this proportionally, if a person that is not known for being well educated calls you a bad name, well perhaps h-- don't know any better or misunderstood some one; but, if your Pastor calls you the same bad name, maybe its time to take a good in the mirror, and ask what do they see, then sit down with H-- and find out. Then perhaps some counseling, confessions, and redemption and forgiveness.     
     On the other hand if someone seriously injures your child maiming h-- for life, your first instinct is to get even, or get this #^&$ out of here; lock h-- up where this cannot happen again. then after h-- has spent time behind bars and received counseling, perhaps its time for forgiveness and healing. 
     Then if this happens with your friends child, perhaps its time to reconsider the terms of your forgiveness. you have forgiven what has happened to your child; but what about your neighbors child??   
     But if you forgive with a Christian Love, then your neighbors child may be safe, and the cause of the first incident may be resolved 

     Real redemption is always accomplished through prayer, a spirit of love and understanding which often takes time,      
    All true forgiveness is always resolved in prayer and with a spirit of love, and often some soul searching on your part.      

     Small stuff     
     There are lots of small every day irritations personality clashes, oversights, misunderstandings, mistakes, errors, that through a similar program as below, this process may take minutes or hours rather than months or years.         

        BIG STUFF, molestation, rape, grand-thief, murder, Quail, man-slaughter, ---, ---.       
 1.    Let the justice system work, this will allow you time needed to calm down and think more clearly, meanwhile you should be praying for H-- that the counseling will work, and H-- may have time to work through H-- guilt and remorse, and start thinking more clearly.   

 2.    Start preparing yourself for the upcoming redemptive - forgiving process, 
        A.   Perhaps some good Christian counseling may do you some good, it may have been possible, that, you may have incited some of the problem without being aware of it, or if not than to help get your head straight.  
        B.     Some deep soul searching and praying of your own, so when the time comes you'll be ready.     
             
 3.     At an appropriate time approach H-- and offer the plan of repentance & Forgiveness so that forgiveness & healing can happen.       

 4.     If possible offer H-- a paying job, with terms that are compatible with the redemption plan, otherwise help H-- find a job; this will help both of you.    
         As far as a halfway house is concerned, you will have to discuss this with the court.    

 5.     Get to know each other, let H-- know what you've been through, learn what H-- has been through, find out where each of you is coming from and what H-- interest, likes, dislikes, loves are, and, where you'd like to be when this process is finished.    

 6.     Allow H-- to help you with some of your projects, offer to help H-- with some H-- projects, work on some mutual projects together.  

 7.    Hopefully by the end of the parole time is finished all of the issues will be resolved. forgiveness and healing for both, and you'll remain or part as friends.   
        Then you WILL understand forgiving love as only those that have been there possibly can.